


Star Ship

by longhairshortfuse



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series, Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Dorks in Love, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-14 14:00:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3413312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/longhairshortfuse/pseuds/longhairshortfuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecil misses Carlos.<br/>Carlos is a massive Star Trek: The Original Series nerd.<br/>Cecil writes slashfic.</p><p>It had to happen.<br/>I am not sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Star Ship

"Carlos? Hey you called. Miss you, as always. You must have been busy lately. It has been a couple days since you called. Oh, I can see you! You got good wifi?"  
"Yes, Cecil, you're pixellating a bit but we'll see how it goes. I have been very busy. Not so busy that I have not thought about you, like a _lot_ and I checked your tumblr. Because I miss you too." Cecil saw Carlos's perfect smile in his tired face.  
"Oh! You checked. Did you see the post I made for you? The one that links to--"  
Carlos raised one eyebrow. "Your slashfic. Yes. Cecil, um, that was real thoughtful of you. Thanks."  
Cecil covered his face. "You read it! Ohmygodsohmygods I didn't think you would. I'm scared to ask. Um, did you... did... you..."  
"You know I love Star Trek, Cecil! And Spock is my favourite character so... thanks. I guess."  
"Ugh. You hated it, didn't you? Ah I'll delete it right away. Then it never happened, right?"  
Carlos shook his head and grinned. "Nonononono, Cecil, don't do that! I _loved_ it. It just had a couple of tiny things I wanted to ask about to do with little details here and there, nothing bad, nothing bad at all! You in bed yet? I'm here on my own. Why don't you, umm, talk me through it? I could be Science Officer Spock and you could be Captain Kirk?"  
Cecil frowned. "Oh! _oh..._ I see. Um, I think that's an _interesting_ idea Carlos. Let me get my script..." 

Carlos heard paper rustling in the background and the familiar echo of the time-warped line. He called out, "Cecil, did Maureen copyedit it for you?"  
Cecil called back, "Ugh, no, she quit. I can't believe she left! She was such a good intern. So resilient, exactly the quality needed for a successful internship in radio. I will miss her opinions. I will miss ex-intern Maureen."  
"Oh! I thought interns either became radio professionals or... um... not. Except for Dana. She did well, objectively."  
"Yes. I miss Dana too, she is so busy all the time. No, I asked Earl to help me with editing. Carlos? Carlos you sound a little funny. Are you eating? Did something, did something go down the wrong way? Did you choke?"  
Carlos almost squealed. "You asked Earl to read it! Uh, did Earl, um, express an opinion on your slashfic at all?"  
"No, he was completely silent. He concentrated on it real hard and didn't speak at all until he finished. He must have been focused on it because I went to get him a cup of coffee after he was done and when I came back he had dashed to the men's room. I mean, he could have taken a break any time, we'd finished recording the _Cooking Stuff with Chef Harlan_ segment. Or perhaps he wanted to see Khoshekh and the kittens. They're getting so big now."  
"Mmm. Yes. I bet that was it." 

Cecil sat by the phone and brandished a wad of paper. "Okay I have the script, Can you see it and still talk to me?"  
Carlos smiled. "Cecil? We're on FaceTime. You can hold the script up and I can read it. Want to try?" Cecil held up a page. "Closer? Hold it still, closer, Okay that's just good enough."  
The page disappeared, replaced by Cecil's frown. "Carlos there are other parts, not just Spock and Kirk. How will we do those?"  
Carlos laughed. "Cecil, you're brilliant at doing voices and accents. You can do them all if you want to do that. Give me the full slashfic experience."  
Cecil sniggered. "That is the whole idea, right?"  
Cecil was too busy leafing through the script to see the heat rise in Carlos's face. Cecil began to read. 

Scotty's communicator beeped and he tapped it with exasperation. Kirk's voice emanated from the small device. Scotty's luxurious eyebrows lowered and his brow furrowed, he only just stopped himself from swearing. He sighed loud enough for his Captain to pick up on his mood.  
"Ah'm givin' them all we've got, cap'n."  
"We need more, Mister Scott. How long before we can have full power?"  
Scotty shook his head and snapped at Kirk. "Three hours cap'n. And dinnae ask, if Ah say three hours Ah mean three hours. We've got a whole engineerin' team workin' on the warp engines. The damage wis extensive."  
 _What? Come on. he's supposed to sound like that. I think he's from Europe somewhere. Scotzeeah or something. I don't know. Anyway, are you listening? This bit's important for the plot._ Kirk stared at the viewscreen in the arm of his captain's chair, shielding it with his hand. "Give me anything you've got as soon as you can, Mister Scott. Our shields can't take much more of this pounding. Kirk out."  
Scotty scowled deeper and tapped his communicator again. As if by magic _What!? It might as well be! Oh, I got the wrong series, the little tappy badges were Next Generation_ Scotty flicked his communicator open and it connected him to his best engineering team. He chivvied them on, "Lads, we need those engines operational, get a move on." 

On the bridge, Kirk gripped the arms of his chair as another explosion rocked the bridge. He rocked from side to side as Sulu and Chekhov maintained shields and course.  
"Lieutenant Uhura! Hail that ship again!"  
"Hailing on all frequencies, sir!"  
Another explosion sent First Officer Spock flying across the bridge. He landed in front of Kirk.  
Kirk leapt out of his seat and took the vulcan's arm _WHAT?! Okay. Goodgriefwho'sstoryisthis. Ugh_ half-vulcan-half-human's arm. His voice was full of concern. "Spock! Are you hurt?"  
Cecil held the script up for Carlos to read his line.  
"No Captain, I am uninjured. Your assistance is unnecessary." Kirk made as if to pull away from Spock until Spock covered Kirk's hand with his own and gazed into his eyes. "But welcome, nonetheless."  
Kirk pulled his first officer to his feet. Another blast rocked them backwards into Kirk's chair and for a delicious moment, Spock sprawled in his captain's lap. 

Lieutenant Uhura called out. "Captain, we have a response."  
"On screen!"  
The viewscreen at the front of the bridge flickered from starscape to an alien face. Kirk pushed Spock off his lap and Spock gracefully took his place behind his captain. _Ca-a-a-rlo-o-s! Just let me put Morbo in, oka-ay?_  
The alien being stared impassively out of the screen, his swollen head, glowing yellow cat-eyes and green scaly skin sending a shudder through Kirk's being..  
 **"Surrender your craft, puny humans!"**  
"This is Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise and--"  
 **"I know who you are, puny human! Prepare to exchange pleasantries before we annihilate you."**  
Kirk muted the communicator and turned to Spock, concern lining his expression. "Spock! Can he do it?" 

Cecil held the script up to the camera again. Carlos squinted at the screen. "Hey Cecil? I'm finding it real difficult to read from my screen. It's too small. Can you just read my parts for me? Then I can look at you while you read and that's real sweet. I'd like that."  
"Oh? Okay, I can totally do that." Cecil smiled at the camera, remembering to look at the dot he stuck by the camera last dot day instead of at Carlos's image, and turned a page of the script. Carlos smiled at the illusion of eye contact. 

Spock strode to his science station and studied his screen. "Our attacker's ship has superior firepower, captain, but our shields are holding." He turned to face Kirk. "It would be logical to assume he wants The Enterprise undamaged."  
 **"I await your reply, human weakling."**  
Kirk turned to his communications officer. "Lieutenant Uhura, open a channel."  
"On screen, captain."  
The being's head flickered into view again. Kirk sat forward in his chair and narrowed his eyes."  
"If you wanted us dead you could have obliterated my ship by now with your superior firepower. I think there is something on this ship you want." Kirk sat back and stared at the screen, feeling sweat start to prickle his neck. Spock stood behind Kirk and put his hand on the back of his chair, casting a glance at the side of his captain's face, grateful that all eyes but his were on the screen. The voice boomed out again.  
 **"We see what we want. Lower your shields and prepare to be boarded. We will discuss terms and you will accept my offer. Lower your shields or I will lower them for you. You will give me your Vulcan in exchange for your freedom."**  
The bridge rocked again, buffeting the crew from side to side. Spock grabbed on to Kirk's arm for support and remained upright.  
"Captain, shields at sixty percent. Fifty seven. Fifty three..."  
"Thank you mister Chekov, keep those shields up. Spock?"  
"He can do it, captain. I advise that we proceed with extreme caution."  
Kirk opened his communicator. "Full security team to the teleport bay. Set phasors to stun. Scotty, report!" 

"Two hours, cap'n, the starboard nacelle breach is almost closed but we canna fire her up until we recalibrate with the port engines. The consequences could be catastrophic."  
"Scotty, we need to get out of here NOW."  
"Captain, we're working as fast as we can."  
"HOW LONG!"  
"TWO. HOURS. SIR."  
"How long without recalibration?"  
"Sir, d'ye want to rip her in two?"  
"Make it work, Scotty!"  
Scotty sighed and scratched his head. "Ye canna change the laws o' physics, cap'n. Scotty out." 

Spock took Kirk's arm briefly as they walked along the corridor past sickbay to the teleport bay. "May I speak, captain?" His face betrayed little of the emotions he suppressed so effectively.  
"Of course, Spock. Is there another course of action I have not considered?"  
"If it is necessary for the survival of the crew I will agree to go. It is the logical solution."  
Kirk pushed Spock into sickbay and closed the door behind them.  
"No. I will not allow a member of my crew to be traded. It's inhuman!"  
"I respectfully remind you, captain, that so am I."  
"Bones!"  
Doctor McCoy emerged from his office. "Jim! Spock! Are you hurt?"  
"No. Have you been following what's happening on the bridge?"  
"Yes! Are you insane enough to do it? Spock?" Doctor McCoy's face was lined with concern for his friends. Kirk leaned forward and pointed at Bones then at Spock.  
"You keep Spock out of sight here. He has some crazy idea that self-sacrifice will save us all. In my experience, once you give a bully what they want, they come back for more and more until you've nothing left. Spock, I order you to remain here with Bones. Bones, sedate him if you have to."  
"Jim, I'm a doctor, not a jailer!"  
Kirk laid a hand on Spock's arm. "I will not lose you." 

Kirk marched back to the bridge. The alert siren blared and a light flashed.  
"Shields forty-two percent. Estimated time to complete failure, thirty one minutes."  
"Mister Chekov, send that countdown to engineering. Scotty!"  
"Aye cap'n!"  
"What can you give us?"  
"Cap'n, it'll be touch and go. Ah canna guarantee we'll get outta this."  
"When the time comes, mister Scott, gimme everything!"  
"Aye aye, cap'n!" 

Spock spoke with a firm tone. "Doctor, it is illogical that I remain here when I have a useful function on the bridge. I demand that you allow me to leave immediately."  
Bones shook his head and stood blocking the doorway, legs apart and arms folded. "Captain's orders. You're staying right here."  
"I remind you that as first officer I outrank you. I order you to step out of my way."  
"Do you want me to fulfil the captain's orders in full? Please give me an excuse to knock you out and shut you up. You can cram your superior rank up your ass." Bones unfolded his arms and adopted a fighting stance. Spock sighed.  
"Doctor, I will not use violence to overcome your blind devotion to duty. You may stand down."  
Bones grabbed Spock's arm as the Vulcan _Ugh! Don't interrupt! This is a real good part!_ Bones grabbed Spock's arm as the half-Vulcan reached for his shoulder to apply the pincer grip that would render him unconscious. He pushed Spock back against the sick-bay wall with enough force to make his instrument tray rattle.  
"Fascinating." Spock stared at McCoy, a rare look of surprise on his face.  
"What, that I can overpower you?"  
"No, doctor. It is of little relevance to our current predicament. I will remain here until I have analysed our situation." Spock sat with the slight frown that indicated he was deep in thought. Just for a second, as Bones pinned him against the wall, he had wished for it to be his captain. Bones looked over and cursed fifteen minutes later when he heard the sickbay door open and close as Spock performed a manual override on the lock. 

Spock found Kirk on the bridge. The viewscreen showed their attacker's ship, matching their impulse speed.  
"Shields eight percent. Collapse in five minutes and forty seconds. Commencing countdown alert."  
"Scotty! Report!"  
"Starboard nacelle sealed and evacuated. Beginning preliminary calibration. Cap'n if we get outta this alive we're gonna need--"  
"Concentrate on getting us out, Scotty, we'll worry about the rest later. Kirk out."  
"Aye cap'n!"  
"Spock! I ordered you to--"  
"The order was illogical, captain. When the shields fail you will need me either to assist with our escape or to trade for your survival." 

The bridge was frantic with action. Status reports from engineering, weapons, communications, course corrections from helmsman Sulu were shouted aloud. Kirk took in all the information, picking out what he needed. Spock took over weapons control, ready to turn on the more powerful ship and fire at its weakest points. The countdown stopped.  
"Shield failure imminent! Brace! Brace!"  
The ship rocked and went silent for an instant. The shouting started over.  
Two things happened simultaneously. Figures, large but indistinct outlines began to appear on the bridge, in engineering, even in sickbay where Bones stood brandishing a laser scalpel. First engineer Montgomery Scott saw the attempted teleport direct to engineering and cursed.  
"Ye canna do that! Ye canna, laws o' physics be damned!" He threw himself over to his control panel. "Calibration sixty-nine percent! Get out of there NOW. Diverting power to warp engines in FIVE... FOUR..."  
Sulu yelled above the hubbub. "PARTIAL WARP POWER RESTORED CAPTAIN!"  
"GET US OUT OF HERE NOW, MISTER SULU!"  
With a quiet hum, the starship Enterprise smoothly bent space around it and left their attackers behind, their failed attempt to board without a fixed transporter pad to lock their destination causing them to materialise in the location the Enterprise no longer occupied. _Yeah, I know! Nice, uh? Nobody actually killed them. Oh, should I go back and put in some red-shirts? Would it be mean to add a character or two just for the sake of killing them off?_

"Captain, we canna keep this up much longer. The ship'll shake itself apart, ye canna feel it yet but the nacelles are dancin' a two-step and neither o' them can hear the band!"  
"Acknowledged, mister Scott. Give us as long as you can."  
Eventually Scotty hailed the bridge to announce, "That's it, ye've taken all she had to give. Give her a rest, cap'n, we can recalibrate and have her up to speed in a few hours. Right now, minimum impulse drive for course stabilisation only. We need all the power we can have here in engineering."  
"Acknowledged, mister Scott. And good job, I knew we could all count on you. Sulu? You heard him. Minimal power drain, divert everything you can spare to engineering."  
"Aye, Captain."  
Kirk collapsed back in his chair and rubbed his eyes. "Ensign Chekov, restore shields as soon as you are able. _Yeah I know but he starts off as an ensign, doesn't he? Ha! You just want to hear me try to do his accent. I remind you that I speak Russian, at least I have a certificate that says I do so it must be true although I don't really remember. And I know you totally ship Sulu and Chekov in a freaky mentor-mentee way, don't pretend you don't. Okay._ Security, remain on full alert. If we have been followed I want to know about it immediately you see anything suspicious."  
"Aye, sir."  
"Mister Sulu, you have the bridge." 

Kirk left the bridge, followed by Spock.  
"Captain, protocol dictates that as first officer I should be your replacement when you leave the bridge."  
"Oh damn protocol, Spock!" Kirk walked faster, Spock kept up.  
"Captain, if you are experiencing emotional distress as a result of what happened, I recommend a course of meditation. If you wish I can show you..."  
Kirk stopped. They were at the Captain's quarters. Kirk opened the door and invited his science officer inside. "Spock, my emotional distress is currently relief that you are still alive and well and on the Enterprise. I couldn't..." Kirk covered his face with both hands. Spock frowned slightly.  
"Captain, this is highly illogical but I am experiencing some kind of emotional response to your distress." Spock tentatively reached out a hand and placed it on Kirk's shoulder. "Fascinating." He removed his hand from Kirk's shoulder.  
"Spock..."  
"Jim." Spock edged closer to his captain and held him. 

_"Uh, Carlos, sweetie, you sure you want me to read out the next part?"_  
 _"Yes please, Cecil. All of it."_

They stood in the Captain's quarters holding on to each other for about a minute. Spock stroked Kirk's back and shivered as his captain ran gentle fingers through his close-cropped hair. Spock took Kirk's hand and led him to the couch that doubled up as his bed.  
"Fascinating."  
"You said that already."  
"Logically this is absurd. You are my superior officer. Protocol demands that we keep a professional relationship at all times, We may not be--"  
"Friends? Too late. We are friends, with each other, with Bones - I know you don't hate him - with Scotty, Uhura, all the rest. We are friends."  
"Jim, objectively we are contemplating moving beyond mere friendship."  
Kirk looked at Spock's impassive face, searched for any trace of emotion. Spock let one eyebrow tilt to soften his expression and a slight smile spoiled the line of his lips for a second, long enough for Kirk to choose a course of action. He leaned forward, took the scientist's face in both hands and kissed him.  
"Spock, we need to be careful. Starfleet--"  
"To paraphrase Doctor McCoy, Starfleet can cram its protocols up its ass tonight. I struggle with the logic of what I am about to suggest, but I want to enter into a relationship with you that I can barely define. I need to study this." 

Kirk sat upright. "You want to _study_ this?" He got up and paced the small room.  
"That would be the most logical course of action. Vulcans are a logical species. Therefore I should analyse my experiences."  
Kirk laughed. "Of course you would want to do that. Why would I think even for a second that you would be prepared just to indulge in a secret love affair without documenting every aspect of it. Spock, this won't work."  
Spock felt his stomach tighten at his captain's words. "That is not what I intend. Perhaps I can express my thoughts more clearly if you allow me to perform a mind meld when you are calmer. It forms a link between us that would aid clarity and understanding. Until then, I wish to remain here."  
"Doing what? Meditating?"  
"If that is what you desire to do, I recommend it and I will sit with you. But I wish to suggest a different activity that I think will calm you to the point where a mind meld would almost be pleasant."  
Spock stood, reached for Kirk's hand. "Jim, I want to make love with you." 

"Carlos?"  
"Cecil? Ah don't stop, I loved the next part."  
"Earl wasn't going to the bathroom to pet Khoshekh, was he?"  
"No, probably not. You gonna read the rest out?"  
"Shame you can't see the script properly. It would be _fun_ to read it together."  
"Oh I can remember how it goes, more or less. We could still do it, act it out a bit if you want. If we get our lines a bit muddled we can, um, practise it again some time."  
"I guess that would be okay. I do like a story to have a happy ending."  
"Aye, captain!" 


End file.
